“My new philosophy is ‘it is what it is.’ I am not trying to change anyone or anything. It just is what it is,” said my friend Regi. He said this as he rocked back in my living room chair. Totally relaxed and completely vulnerable.
Regi is the guy who always mimics me by saying, “You know what your problem is?” I can’t say he’s wrong as I have been known to say this quite frequently. But so does Regi. That’s why we love each other so much. We are the same person. He is just the southern version.
“I hear what you are saying, but I just don’t believe you can let it go,” I said.
He repeated, “It is what it is.”
Regi then proceeded to attempt to convince Kathy, my wife, that his new philosophy was the right way to think. She objected. I then said, “Regi, you need to stop trying to convince her. After all, it is what it is.”
My Bad Habit
I’ve been thinking about that conversation for a good while now. I agree with Regi.
I have this bad habit of wanting to be right. It shows itself in judging others.
Christ said it best in the Sermon on the Mount, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Why I Judge
When I judge others, it is because I am fundamentally judging myself. I am tough on others because I see something in them I dislike in me.
So here’s what I am going to practice in 2017.
I will focus on who I am.
I will not focus on who I am not.
My word for the year is acceptance.
Acceptance of myself.
Acceptance of others.
Thanks, Regi, for once again getting me to think long and hard about something you said. You are a thought leader, and I accept that.
It is what it is.
Also published on Medium.