How I Went Wide, Not Deep

At some point in 2016, I decided to say “yes” to pretty much every “opportunity” which came my way. To use angel investing parlance, I abandoned due diligence process and simply invested. In the past, I sought to schedule my time judiciously.

My Bad Decisons

But I began making poor time investments. I was investing me without seriously considering the personal cost associated with the decision. It feels good to say “yes,” but the implications were dramatic.

I find myself having to be in too many places at once.

I have a scattered to-do list.

I have a network of people too big to manage. As my friend Regi told me, “You have way too many people in your life.” I have gone wide and not deep.

More Is Better Fallacy

This is the result of the decisions I made. How did I get here? What was the motivation? I believe it is simply this. I am an addict. I am addicted to activity. I am addicted to being needed.

I was living the lie that more is better. It is not. It is simply more. And the more “yeses,” the less on purpose I have become.

Now What?

There is a Bible verse which keeps playing in my mind. “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10).

God made me for a purpose. It exists in the middle of the dust cloud I created by saying “yes” too many times.

I need to spend the rest of this week asking God what good works he has planned for me to do this coming year. These good works are already there for me. Ready and waiting. And the results are already in, even before I start.

As an addict, I feel led to return to the 12 step program of AA. It works for alcohol, and I know it will also work for my activity addiction.

My Next Steps

  1. Admit I am powerless—that my life has become unmanageable.
  2. Believe God is greater. That only he can restore sanity.
  3. Make a decision to turn my will and life over to God’s care.

I believe in this writing I can check the box on #1. Now I need to move on to #2 then #3.

More isn’t better. It is just more.

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6 thoughts on “How I Went Wide, Not Deep

  1. I love the vulnerability. Many of your readers will probably see themselves in your post and will take courage from your commitment to change. I got up early this morning and the theme of my time of reflection and prayer is “focus.” I’m going to live with intentionality. I’m going to continually build in time to re-focus as my natural curiosity and energy leads to the entropy that you describe. Thanks for the encouragement.

  2. Charlie, you see a lot of needs that need to be met in the Atlanta tech community: spiritual, relational, educational. Maybe you need to make a few disciples who can share the load and provide continuance to help meet those needs as you slow down.